Mr. Breeze's Knee Slappers

[Mr. Breeze]

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders 3 beers. The barman serves him and he drinks them down and proceeds to order 3 more. This goes on throughout the night. Every day the man walks in and orders 3 beers at a time. After a few days people begin to talk about him, as a matter of fact he became quite the talk of the town. The barkeep could not contain his curiosity any longer and asked him why he ordered 3 drinks at a time. The man replied,"Aye I've got two brothers, one in the states and the other across the pond, and we made a pact that whenever we went out to drink we would each order three drinks and it would be like we were drinkin' together". "That's a lovely sentiment" replied the bartender and gave the man the next round on the house. The next day the man walked in the bar and only ordered two beers. The barkeep with a tear in his eye brought up the 2 beers and offered his condolences for the obvious loss of one of his brothers. "Ah me brothers are fine" said the man " but I've given up drinkin' fer Lent" :)

[Mr. Breeze]

Two pieces of string walk into a bar. The barkeep tells them " Get out'a here we don't serve any strings in here". Dejected the two strings walk out. Then one string says to the other "I've got an idea", and proceeds to twist himself up and mess up his hair. He walks back in the bar and the barman says " hey aren't you that piece of string I threw out of here". To which the string replies" no I'm a frayed knot" :-D

[Mr. Breeze]

Three men who had just passed away find themselves in front of Saint Peter. The Good Saint asked the first fellow, how many times he cheated on his wife to which he replied well it was twice but I'm really sorry and it meant nothing I was on a long trip and got lonely. Saint Peter told him okay you get Yugo. The second guy the same question he said well.. It was once and I'm really sorry I never forgave myself, Saint Peter tells him okay you get the Volkswagon. the third guy said he never cheated on his wife he loved her so much blah blah blah. Saint Peter says here you get the Jaguar. So a few days go by and the three fellows meet up again and the third guy is all sad and weepy the other two are like yo what's up with you you got the car the nice place what gives. the man replied saw my wife last week, she came by on a skateboard. :P

[Mr. Breeze]

Three men appear before St. Peter and the Good Saint tells them, " all you need to to is answere me one question and you're in." He asks the first soul," what is Easter ? " To which the fellow replies," oh that's easy, a big fat man in a red coat runs around and gives presents to all the good boys and girls." "You go over there," St. Peter tells him. Next man he asks the same question. "What is Easter?" The second man says "thats easy the bunny runs around hiding eggs for all the girls and boys to find." "Close, but no , you go over there." St Peter tells him, and turns to the third man who says," I know, what's Easter right?" "I know this, Easter is when Jesus was crucified, they took Him down from the cross, brought Him to the tomb, annointed Him, placed Him in the tomb and mourned His death. Three days later He rose from the dead, appeared outside the tomb saw His shadow and we had three more weeks of winter." :o